New Eyes on the World

I’m looking at the world with new eyes these days.

I’ve known for a long time that I see things along the literal highways of my life that others do not. When I was commuting to Port O’Connor a few years back, I would be struck by an arrangement of vines in a dead tree that resembled nothing so much as a huge brontosaurus, long neck stretched out, lumbering across the salt flats.

My imagination seems to run rampant when I’m held captive by the confines of a vehicle and my mind is like a search engine such as google, seeking something, anything, more interesting than the asphalt stretching out in front of me.

What makes the difference in people, that they see (or not see) different things when out and about?

I suppose it depends a lot on what other distractions or items of concern are whirling about in one’s brain at any one given time. You may be thinking about the job, or a project or relationship that is troubling you, and thus focused inward, not noticing much around you.

You may be a bird-watcher, on the alert for glimpses of a new feathered friend to add to your life count, thus focused outward, more likely to take notice of passing scenery.

There are times when I have been so full of joy about my life, my friends, my place in the world, and I think that makes me more aware of every aspect of my environment. It’s like I’m in tune with the world.

What about folks who are ill? Does one’s physical condition affect one’s observations and awareness of what’s around? Say, for whatever reason, one’s mood is either good or bad. That would make a big difference as well, I would think. An attribute of myself that is sometimes a good thing, and sometimes not so good, is my ability to sort of put myself in someone else’s place. Empathy, according to the New World Dictionary, is “the projection of one’s own personality into the personality of another in order to understand him better; ability to share in another’s emotions or feelings.”

This process can be rather devastating when the other person is undergoing great stress of some sort, say, after Hurricane Katrina, or 911 in New York. However, it can be very helpful in understanding.

In the pursuit of trying to understand the ramifications of a terrible disease to a dear friend of mine, I’m now looking at the world with new eyes. I’m trying to think what the world would be like if I was no longer able to do the things I’ve done all my life: drive a car, do my work, compose and type a story, do my laundry, decide what to wear each morning, cook a meal, read a book, be in control of every aspect of my life. But worst of all, for a time, I would be cognizant that I no longer know how to do any of those things.

What vicious, despicable, vile disease could possibly take all this away from one? Leaving one despairing, confused, so terribly lost? Never to see the world as before?

Its name is Alzheimer.