Giving Meteorologists Fits

For the February, 2010, Livin' on the Bay, I had started no less than three Coffee Chats. Maybe I could have stirred them all together. My little paper was coming out so late, you’d think I could have come up with a column. Hey, it was a hard, cold January.

I had the second one about 80% done, and then I opened the Victoria Advocate on Wednesday.

You all no doubt know how obsessed I am with the weather. So I jump on an article--not only on the front page and above the fold, but top of the left column.

Headline goes for a grabber: “Region braces for freeze.” Now, we go out and get our daily papers when we arise in the morning, unless, of course, we work a night shift (I've done that--5 p.m. to 2 a.m. for 5 years!). First line reads: “A freeze warning is in effect from 3 to 9 a.m. Wednesday.” So, if we weren’t already prepared for a freeze, it’d be a tad late for the warning when we read the morning paper? Ah well, we are so used to instant news on TV and the net.

Three paragraphs or so of the article go into the forecast for the next 2 days, with probabilities of rain, snow, sleet, cold, dark of night.

Now for the part that had me laughing so hard I scared the cats.

A National Weather Service meteorologist is quoted as saying, “From Cotulla to the Goliad area, there’s a slight chance for anything to happen.”

Talk about nailing it! You know, I imagine just about any moment in time there would be a “slight chance for anything to happen”! Then she compounds the consternation by going out on a limb and giving us the down and dirty:

“It would be cold enough for some wintry precipitation, but it’s kind of borderline because it could rain.”

Oh well, we probably ought to give weather forecasters a break. It has to be the worst job in the universe. If they come out and get specific about what they think will happen, Mother Nature will come up with just the reverse.

I gave up trying to finish with something stellar and riveting, and went with a short column. There ARE times when you just can't top some confounding words in the daily newspaper.